Out Of The Blue

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I walked home from Darling Harbour yesterday afternoon, dreading the extensive mental to-do list that I needed to attend to later that night. I was drained and overwhelmed, not only by a never-ending array of steep stairs that stood before me, but because with every trouble that I attempted to wrap my head around, another issue flared up. I felt imprisoned within my own Catch-22 rut; cleaning up the clutter and making more mess in the process.

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Help needed: How can I update my brain from Explorer to Firefox?

Upon commencing a new job, my boss attempted to introduce me to their point of sales system. As she seamlessly click-click-clicked away, my thought process went something like this:

I understand, I sooooo got this under control….Hmm alright, maybe it’s harder than I initially thought, but still, it isn’t too difficult. I can get the hang of- wait. What did you click? What screen is this? Please repeat, please repeat….she isn’t gonna repeat.
Oh no.
What. Is. She. Doing.
….annnnnnd I’m out.
*Mental white noise*
Blank.

As I simply stood frozen beside her, she turned around and asked, “Are you even paying attention? You have this dumbstruck look on your face”. Sometimes I just need to wear a sign that reads, “Mental buffering, one moment please”. It was at this point I realised, my brain is stuck using Internet Explorer while all you intelligent beings seem to have downloaded Chrome or Firefox.

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Things I Ain’t Got Time For: Loose Change

If you’re standing by a cash register purchasing a train pass, a flat white or lottery ticket and have your coins out, calculated and ready to be handed over seamlessly, blessings be unto you my friend. But if the phrase “I think I may have 45 cents in here somewhere” frequently finds its way into your daily repertoire, and is proceeded by you foraging through your bag like a possum digging through mounds of junk… I ain’t got time for you.

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