Microwaves. They are a true blessing to cash-ridden university students and to culinarily-challenged singles around the globe. They are the pinnacle of convenience, and yet ironically, I ain’t got time for ’em. No, I am not Jamie Oliver. I do not profess to despise microwaves because of the starchy, fatty concoctions we place inside it. Microwaves are not entirely at fault here; they do not deserve to cop the blame for our expanding waistlines. But do you know what they should be accountable for? My second degree burns. That’s what.
Last week, I attempted to reheat a bowl of spicy veggie stir fry from the previous evening. As the blaring bleeps disturbed the peaceful air, indicating to all within a three-house radius that my meal was ready, I opened its door and removed my lunch wearily. Mr Microwave appeared to have done his job! The fresh fragrance of coriander, Thai-basil, and soy wafted throughout the kitchen. The glossy, dark, silky sauce folded through mounds of bok-choi, broccolini and sugar snaps, and I was certainly enticed to dig in. I raised my fork to devour the goodness that sat before me, when suddenly – HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!! (and no, I am not referring to the chilli). My tongue was just short of being fully cremated by my scorchingly hot lunch. But in an event like this, there’s no need to grab a cool drink to sooth your mouth. Just turn your bowl around, and eat the other half of your meal; because chances are, IT’S STILL FROZEN.

Temperamental microwaves? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
There have been instances where I was required to wear oven-mitts to remove my meal, as if I was a nuclear scientist carefully extracting highly sensitive rods from a pressuriser. I am known in our family to have combusted our grandmothers microwave when making popcorn (despite following all packet instructions, might I add). And I have also managed to transform beautiful succulent chicken into bouncy rubbery balls in the span of approximately a minute. What evil magic is this? Melted lids, soup explosions and oozing melted-cheese-spillages…I ain’t got time to deal with that.

How I treat my microwaved meal.
The worst piece of advice on packet instructions is that ‘cooking time may vary depending on the microwave. Adjust accordingly’. What if my microwave is as random as a slot machine and loves to mock me? WHAT IF MY MICROWAVE IS EVIL?
A week later and my taste buds are still incinerated from the stir-fry incident. I ain’t got time for microwaves. I ain’t got time for their sheer lack of predictability, and I certainly ain’t got time for their bipolar sense of logic.

#microwavelogic
My friend in college nuked a stale sugar cookie, burnt sugar stuck to her fingers and Nasty burns….not pretty….love your blog:)
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Thanks for checking it out! Glad you’re liking it; means a lot!
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Haha, I love your tongue-in-cheek humor! :D
I agree. *solemnly* Ain’t nobody got time for microwaves.
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:) thank you for reading my microwave rant!
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Again related to food… LOL
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…. so you’ve noticed how important food is to me? haha!
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Actually hostel food is really bad during summer. So everything I see, I somehow relate it to food. LOL
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Microwaves are the devil’s tool. You can’t cook anything properly in a microwave!
FM
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indeed they are the devils tool; could not have put it better myself! maybe we should check to see if they have 666 etched on it somewhere!
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They make everything taste like aluminum to me.
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so very true! There is nothing I like more than metal tasting food haha! Thanks for dropping by! :)
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If you ain’t got time for microwaves, then you surely don’t have time for “normal” cooking, which takes a whole lot longer. Are you perchance into the raw food movement? Not a bad thing at all (says this vegan).
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I have time for the raw food movement…. I also have time for 2 minute noodles! Thanks for stopping by :)
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Sorry for your burns and frustrations, but I could related to this one so much, it made me laugh. Well-written.
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It’s happened to all of us! Thanks for checking out my blog :)
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